This is a recent FAQ on self-deprecation in neurodiverse females. As always, If you like it please share and leave your positive comments or other questions below. This video was made by the Neurodiversity Academy, founded by and funded by AspienGirl girl.com
Updated February 18th, 2017
This is a sample of the book entitled Behind The Mask and is therefore under copyright law. Behind The Mask give voice to neurodiverse females and discusses the assessment diagnosis and support of females on the Spectrum.
Tania Marshall, M.Sc. is available for diagnostic impressions reports, assessment, diagnosis and intervention, support and problem-solving sessions in-person and/or via Skype. All queries, please email firstname.lastname@example.org
I chose to write my book series after numerous requests for information on the topic. I also chose to self-publish, so that I can regularly update my work, keep my work current with the speed and amount of the research in the area (a challenge to keep up with for a professionals in the area), keeping my work fresh, current and in real time, rather than a long waiting period and being out-dated.
Over my career, I have I worked with hundreds of neurodiverse, Gifted and Talented, and 2e individuals.They may have labels that consist of Autism, Aspergers, Non-Verbal Learning Disability, Twice-Exceptionality, Semantic-Pragmatic Language Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Bi-Polar Disorder, and many more. Irregardless of the ‘label’, these individuals have many significant strengths, gifts, abilites and/or talents, and this topic is discussed in ‘ AspienPowers’.
In working with neurodiverse individual across the lifespan, I have written and spoken about and or refer the ‘female autism crisis’. There are many factors involved, some of which include: a lack of professionals trained in the area, gender differences, the female autism bias and the lack of assessment tools. We are a long way from developing efficient tools for assessing neurodiverse girls and woman. The following slide is from the Recent presentation review of key measures, gender and autism at the 2016 XI Autism-Europe International Congress and shows that the ADOS/ADOS-2, the ADI-R and the SCQ favor males. This is a real problem and a crisis because these are the very tools that many professionals use when they assess females. They are sometimes a cause of females flying under the radar of a professional.
I have been referred many females who have had these tools previously completed on them and have not been given a diagnosis. This can be due to the tools inability to measure the subtle signs, client masking, compensatory mechanisms and strategies and/or the even the rigidness of the professional in using the tool or the over-reliance of using these tools versus asking the right questions and looking for the subtle signs in body language, facial expressions, asking the right social questions, evaluating areas such as context blindness, synaesthesia, Irlen Syndrome, sensory processing issues, and more.
In assessing girls on the Spectrum, it is important to ask the right questions. I cannot emphasise this enough. There are many questions to ask and what follows are some examples. Keep in mind that high average to profoundly intelligent girls can tell you the socially acceptable answers that you as a professional want to hear, but they are unable to actually perform those unwritten social rules or if they can, they are not as fast at it as their peers or it comes off as just slightly awkward. You need to look at this subtle non-verbal signs which I will be discussing In an educational series.
Many girls and women with Asperger Syndrome or Autism have a tendency to be over-loyal and over-trusting, have a lot of emotional empathy, often just ‘seeing’ that a person needs help or saying they person needs help and taking things literally or not being able to ‘see’ the social context of a situation (for example, bringing home a homeless man because he has no home or food, yet not seeing the inherent dangers in doing this).
- What is bullying? What is teasing? What is bitchiness? How do you know the differences? When should you help someone? When shouldn’t you help someone?
- Sample questions in the area of friendship friendship should consist of: What is a good friend? What are some healthy ways of making and keeping friends? How long does it take to make and keep a best friend? Who are your friends? How do you know they are your friends? Do your friends try to get you to do things you dont feel is the right thing or that you feel uncomfortable with? (For example, do they try to get you to do your their homework, reports school work? Do they get you to buy things for them? Do they try to get you into trouble (for example, do they say they’ll be your friend if you do something for them?) What do you do at lunchtime? What do you do with your friends? What kinds of activities do you do with your friends? Do you prefer one best friend or a few friends? How long have you known your friend/friends for? Do they come stay over at you house and vice versa (if applicable). What do you talk about with your friend(s)? Professional Tip: Try to find out if the conversations are more one-sided or are they reciprocal, that is the conversation takes turns; it is a two way street rather than just a one person conversation involving 2 or more people.
- Sample Questions of play or hanging out may involve: How often do you play it hang our with your best friend/friends? Who initiates the play? Do you ask your friends to come over? Do they ask you to come over? Professional Tip: Often girls will text or cling too much to a girl, often driving them away.
- Does the girl or teen understand the social hierarchy? Do they understand how groups in school work? Do they understand the role the group members play? Why do you think the girls at school engage in these behaviors?
- Why is it important to keep a promise? Should every promise be kept?
- Why is it important to apologize when you’ve hurt someone? Professional Tip: Some girls adamantly refuse to apologize and some girls over-apologize.
- How do you know if someone is trying to get you into trouble? How do you know who you can and cannot trust as a friend?
- How do you know a particular person is safe to have as a friend? What kinds of clues might alert you that this person is dangerous? How would you know you are being taken advantage of?
- What are boundaries? How do you enforce a boundary?
- Do you prefer one-on-one friendships or hanging out in a group?
- Do you feel anxious around other girls? Girls often internalize their anxiety and can hide it very well. For those girls that are unable to “hold it in”, they may receive a diagnosis earlier than other girls. Remember that is it common for girls to be unable to explain why they are having difficulty in a social situation. They do often discuss not feeling well or may speak of feeling sick, feeling nervous or scared. They may often be in the sick bay.
- How long can you socialize for? Do you feel like you need a break? Does socializing make you tired?
- Teenagers with Aspergers often have eating disorders, an escalation of anxiety and depression and/or self-harm. Asking these questions is important. Investigating self-harm is also important. Girls are very good at hiding their cutting. Demand Avoidance is commonly seen in girls and women with Aspergers. Avoiding demands is caused by anxiety and/or not knowing how to do the task at hand and /or being embarrassed or socially anxious about a task. This is context-dependent and can look like making up excuses as to why she cannot do something that you know she can do to refusal to do something asked of her to refusing to comply with requests by an adult to avoiding the social playground.
- Many girl and women have a flat affect on their face, so that family members or professionals cannot tell how they are feeling.
- Some girls and women have Alexythymia and/or Faceblindness. Most experience extreme emotions and some girls may receive a diagnosis earlier than others to their meltdowns and/or violence.
- Many, if not all girls and women mis-interpret social situations (for e.g., “none of the teachers or kids at school like me”). Upon further investigation/assessment, it is found out that the individual misinterpreted facial expressions and social context, in an assessment.
- An assessment should involve reading of the eyes to see how well an individual can read non-verbal facial expressions from the eyes.
- An assessment may include listening to a variety of different tones of voice to see if the individual can distinguish the underlying feeling behind the tone.
- An assessment should also investigate other senses (both sensory issues and emotional empathy or “empath” characteristics). These questions need to be asked in a certain way as many females are literal, so a careful exploration is essential. An investigation of synaesthesia may be warranted.
- An assessment should also explore social naivety, the differences between lying and ‘white lies’, ‘pink lies’, social diplomacy, social tact and theory of mind.
- For teens and women, how do you know when someone is flirting with you or wants to go on a date with you? Do you know how to diplomatically reject the advance of another person? Professional Tip: Assertiveness training is essential for many females.
- In relation to gender and sexuality, a smaller group of girls (and boys) feel confused by their gender, and this can range from mild to severe. A thorough exploration of this issue often finds the individual relating better to the opposite gender, with girls getting along better with boys, being androgynous and/or Tomboy-like, and boys seeing other females as very socially successful and appearing to have lots of friends. Sometimes, an individual in their search for why they are different or why the social aspect of their life are so much more work for them, then come to the conclusion, for a variety of reasons (the feeling that others do not like or accept them, they do not like themselves, always having that feeling of being “different” to their peers), that they may have been born in the wrong body (they may be able to have more friends or be liked more, feel more accepted, feel “better” inside their body, be happier within themselves and within their family, be socially better or more popular), if they change their gender or their sexuality. Rarely, does changing one’s gender or sexuality fix the underlying social communication and identity issues, including being bullied, ignored or excluded and/or self-esteem challenges. Depending on how rigid or black and white the person is in their thinking, this can be a challenging issue to work on with the person.
- An exploration of identity in teenagers and women is important. This is because, over time, an assimilation of other people’s characteristics traits, voices, accents, behaviors has occurred, in addition to what others and society expect of them and from them. This high price (masking) often leads to a complete loss of identity.
- Many professionals are not aware that females can and do make eye contact, do make superficial conversation for short periods of time, and can have friends.
- Many professionals are unaware of the variety of sub-type presentations of girls across the Spectrum, with the ‘princess’ or ‘supermodel’ type, and/or those with higher intelligence, being the ones to be least diagnosed or diagnosed at a much later age. They are often Twice-exceptional (2e) individuals and blend in very well.
- Strengths and abilities are often overlooked due to the “presenting problem(s)”. Once these are addressed, then can an individual’s true gifts (for example, perfect pitch, artistic creativity, acting, dancing, programming, languages, just to name a few) can be nurtured and evolve into careers.
- Individuals on the Spectrum can and do lie, just like anyone else does. They dont do it as well as their peers and the reasons for lying may be different
- In terms of friendships, females are able to make friends, however they can often have a challenging time keeping them.
- A females sense of justice and high moral compass can be a clue and some females have been known to take their enlarged justice glands too far in their causes.
- Females with social problems often use their intelligence (sometimes quite successfully) to compensate for their lack of social skills, often falling into leadership roles, caring roles, teaching roles, acting roles, lawyers, professors, amongst other, where social reciprocity is least expected and social scripts (and slides!) can be adhered too.
Briefly, what we need to be asking are the right questions, looking and searching for and asking about questions that have to do with social confusion, camouflaging (how are the hiding it?), compensatory mechanisms (strategies they use to attempt to fit in, hide their confusion), eating disorders, gender, sexuality (if appropriate) and identity issues.
This is a sample chapter of ‘Behind The Mask’, and is therefore under copyright law. In Part I of this book, it explores the narratives and themes of the neurodiverse female clients that Tania has worked with over the course of her 20-year career. Part II includes chapters on assessment, diagnosis, how to explain the diagnosis, what next and support and intervention. For more information on female neurodiversity, go to:
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The following article is copyrighted and may not be posted anywhere without permission from the author.
In working with females (and males) on the Spectrum for approximately 20 years, I have learned a lot from my clients. When I first started out as a psychologist, I was seeing female on the Spectrum; they just were not called or labeled that back then. In working with hundreds of females, it is safe to say that there is much neurodiversity within this group. This is extremely important to talk about because these are their narratives.
By this, I mean that there exist varying presentations of girls and women on the Spectrum. Some are easier to diagnose than others. This is due to temperament, personality type, the severity or mildness of the person's specific Autistic traits, how many traits they have, gender differences, how much the traits impact on their ability to function, other conditions or disorders and much more.
Due to a variety of lagging skills and/or differences, many females with Autism do not get along with each other, yet many do, just like neurotypical people. Many females with mild symptoms are unable to get a diagnosis, even though their traits and exhaustion impact them on a cyclical basis. Those with the subtle traits usually never receive a diagnosis.
Now that I have worked with thousands of women, they have taught and shown me through their narratives, just how different they are from each other. It is important to discuss this issue so that no more females are left behind.
Stereotypes exist due to the history of Autism and describing boys rather than girls certainly comes into play. Other stereotypes include cultural perceptions and the social focus of culturally "female" interests. So, assessments based on males and cultural perceptions and biases are certainly factors. In my work, I have seen the stereotype of the "Tomboy" play a part in other females with a different presentation not receive a referral for an assessment or a diagnosis.
The use of a social mask, compensatory mechanisms, level of intelligence (for example, being 2e), being able to get by in life day to day and then have cyclical breakdowns, and the subtle differences all contribute to a delay in diagnosis or a misdiagnosis. These differences mixed in with genetics, temperament, personality, co-existing conditions, family environment and upbringing all impact and affect how Autism presents in a female (and male).
Subtypes or presentations are extremely important to understand if one is to be trained appropriately. It is imperative to understand how many different ways a female on the Spectrum can present to a clinician. A diagnosis is critical, not only for self-understanding; but for support, services, and academic accommodations. I am talking about how girls and women have presented themselves in my clinic over 20 years, from a variety of countries and cultures. This blog is but a small part of my book entitled, "Behind The Mask" due 2017.
There are a few ways that females on the Spectrum adopt a role. In particular, if they really want to fit in and conform with society. There exist some common types or sub-types of women on the Autism Spectrum. The reason this is important is so that, as I said before, no females are left behind, and that professionals are trained in the various presentations so that they do not miss a female and also to educate the wider population about the neurodiversity of neurodiversity itself! So, let's discuss just a few presentations:
TheTomboy is usually indifferent to gender, preferring to have boys for friends and dress in an androgynous way or dress in boys clothes. She finds it much easier to talk to boys (or men). However, some individuals have gender dysphoria and this is not to be taken lightly.
The Academic superstar uses her intelligence to achieve degrees, awards, honors and more. She has an intelligence above 130, qualifying for MENSA, and has used her intelligence to get through social situations. The higher the giftedness, the more different the presentation may appear.
The Passive female is a people pleaser. She is shy, quiet, cooperative, rarely asks for help and compliant, too compliant, and blends into the wall (in the classroom or at school). She rarely stands up to bullies and is often taken advantage of.
The Aggressivefemale has often had a history of misunderstanding and misinterpretations, both ways; on her part and on others parts. She often misinterprets others, burns bridges, is impulsive and is the type most often associated with or been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD traits.
The Scientific female may have a special interest in physics and/or Quantum Physics, mathematics, chemistry, animal sciences, biology or space, programming, just to name a few. Often, this type of woman is quite focused on their topic of interest and reaching high levels of distinction (a Masters or PhD).
TheStyleIcon is aware, even overly aware of style and fashion. She may work in fashion design, be an actor or a supermodel. She has got the outfits, makeup, hairstyles and appearance perfect. Her appearance tends to intimidate males and females, who are threatened by her appearance, presence or knowledge of the fashion and stylist world. She grasps small talk, making her appear to be neurotypical and allowing her to cope in social situations and fit in with her peers. Even if her appearance is eccentric, she gets away with it due to her other talents; whether they be a singer, a costume designer, an actor or DJ.
The Housewife or Cook loves to entertain and is very good at it. She is whom people want to hire for their home. She loves to have people over, but remains the ultimate host, so as not to have to socialise with others.
TheArtist gets away with being different or eccentric because society expects them to be that way, so in this way, they often remain undiagnosed until they fall off the rails. they may be the more eccentric painters, writers, actors, supermodels, singers, and band members.
TheJusticeWarrior is obsessed with justice, fairness, and right and wrong. These are admirable traits, but not when it turns into obsession, misguidedness or inappropriate recruiting of members. Some women (and men) are 'one woman' groups because others do not want to join their cause due to the social way they attempt to get others to join their cause. These people end up starting their cause over and over again. It is true (although some may not like to admit it) that some women (or men or neurotypicals) have a “misguided sense of social justice”, going too far or the wrong way of going about their crusade. There is a socially appropriate way to get people to join your cause. I have met clients (both neurodiverse and neurotypical) who have gotten into trouble with the law or are in jail because of their enlarged justice gland, lack of social context and impulsivity.
In summary, this is just a brief look at how girls and women experience Autism and the variety that exists in presentation. There are other presentations that will be discussed in my book. Girls and women vary differently from each other and also differ in their ability of lack of ability to use compensatory mechanism and/or coping mechanisms. They also vary in intelligence levels. Those who are both Autistic and Gifted have a different presentation. However; they all share the same core challenges (from mild to severe) and some remarkable strengths or gifts.
This blog is written to address the neurodiversity with a large group of females and has nothing to do with sexism or ableism, nor that neurotypicals cannot have the same careers. Most importantly, it is imperative that we understand the differences in neurodiverse females, the different ways they cope or not cope, and the different ways they present.
Within the Neurodiverse population, there is no particular way to be a girl or a woman. Many of my clients have all kinds of preferences and interests, including my Lego pens sets. Many of my clients have a wide and varied style of clothing, from fashion to boys clothes to Victorian clothing to gender-neutral clothing to completely loving being in a princess Tulle dress or an Elf costume. Some of my clients wear "boy" clothing and "girl clothing". Some like cargo pants, some like dresses and/or corsets, some like dressing up in their favorite character, some love femininity and some do not and many like books, stationery, dolls, and theater.
Finally, the purpose of writing about presentations is to leave no female out; to never exclude not even one female. We understand the neurotypical world (to the degree that we do), but we are only on the cusp of learning about the neurodiverse female world and what this group are truly capable of, when given the right support. This is about understanding females on the Spectrum and then designing appropriate interventions according to their presentation. For example, the passive presentation will need assertiveness training whereas a different social type will need a different intervention. It would be unfruitful to put all females in the same social skills or intervention group.
Whilst these girls and women are different, they all share the same common core characteristics, that of social, emotional, cognitive, sensory, intelligence differences, in addition to other co-existing disorders or conditions. This makes for complex presentations. By no means can one type be put in a box. A female can be 2 or 3 types or morph into all types throughout their life-time.
These are just some of the various ways that Autism presents, how some females may present and how they may cope with having a different brain. Autism influences many factors and all types and interests are just as important as each other. We need as many different brains and as many different neurodiverse females as possible. We also need to know the differences in presentation, so that we can now design and implement the right support and intervention for the right girl or woman.
Neurodiverse girls and women have much to offer, regardless of neurotype, interests, dress, differences and/or similarities. There are no stereotypes, just a variety of presentations and profiles, all valid and all very special.
#nomoreemalesleftbehind #beyourownsuperhero #aspiengirl #aspienwoman #aspienpowers #behindthemask
No part of this may be used, reproduced, borrowed or copied. This is an excerpt from Behind The Mask
AspienGirl.com is pleased to be nominated for a 2017 ASPECT Autism Australia Award in the Advancement Category, for advancing the area of female Autism. AspienGirl.com advocates for neurodivergent females, educating and bringing a strengths-based awareness about the autistic female presentation/profile, and contributes to its’ goal of “no more AspienGirls left behind” and “Be your own superhero”, being the best version of yourself. Females will continue to be misdiagnosed, mis-medicated and/or receive the wrong interventions, until research is conducted on females, female-based screening and diagnostic tools are created, gender differences are clearly understood, and female-specific interventions and professionals are trained to assess, diagnose and work with females. In order to assist in getting closer to these goals, the AspienGirl Project was created and has already donated 450 books and will continue to donate a certain percentage of its profits to sending out free books and resources to professionals, schools, teachers, special needs coordinators, libraries, and Autism organizations.
Tania Marshall, M.Sc., AMAPS, is an international best selling author, psychologist, publisher, educator, 3X and most recently 2017 ASPECT Autism Australia National Recognition Award Nominee (Advancement Category), recognized for her work in advancing the field of female Autism. Her first book, entitled “I Am AspienGirl©: The Unique Characteristics, Traits and Strengths of Young Females on the Autism Spectrum”, foreword by Dr. Judith Gould, won an IPPY eLIT Gold Medal Award in 2015 and is an Amazon best seller. I am AspienGirl has been translated into Spanish and is entitled Soy AspienGirl. She currently works with the gifted and talented, celebrities, performing artists, and twice-exceptional and/or neurodiverse individuals, across the lifespan. Tania was recently interviewed by Dr. Harold Reitman in a 2 part series by Different Brains, where Part I can be found here: http://differentbrains.com/aspiengirl-embracing-strengths-women-aspergers-syndrome-tania-marshall-edb-51/ and Part II here http://differentbrains.com/gender-differences-neurodiversity-recognizing-diversity-within-autism-spectrum-tania-marshall-edb-54/
Tania can be reached at email@example.com for assessments, telepsychology (Skype) or clinic consultations, interviews, presentations, workshops, and/or conferences, translation inquiries, collaborations, publishing/book and/or media inquiries. She is an Australian Psychological Association (APS) Autism Identified Medicare Provider, a Helping Children With Autism Early Intervention Service Provider (HWCA), a Better Start Early Intervention Provider, a Medicare Approved Mental Health Provider and a Secret Agent Society (SAS) Trained Group Facilitator.
Copyright 2016-2017 Tania Marshall
The AspienGirl Project is pleased to announce that the sequel to ‘I am Aspiengirl’ entitled ‘I Am AspienWoman’ recently won a 2016 IPPY eLit Gold Medal Award in the “Women’s Category” in April. I am AspienWoman is the culmination of a blog Tania wrote a couple of years ago entitled ‘Moving Towards a female profile of Asperger Syndrome’, with close to 300,000 views, to date. That blog is regularly updated. You may purchase copies at http://www.aspiengirl.com, Amazon or other fine books stores.
Tania spends her professional time in private practice. She provides diagnostic assessment impressions reports regularly (across the lifespan), and provides interventions and support. For more information regarding diagnosis and assessment, bookstore wholesale discounts, book contracts, interviews, translations, workshops and conferences, please email firstname.lastname@example.org
I Am AspienWoman releases at #29 Amazon USA, #1 in Australia (2 categories) and 1st spanish world female autism conference
Pre-orders of I Am AspienWoman paperback from the AspienGirl webstore
Pre-orders of I Am AspienWoman hardcover from the AspienGirl webstore
The book are now available on Amazon Canada and Amazon UK and the formats will become available as Amazon’s time frame allows.
Here is another sneak peek at a couple of interesting pages from the book, clients I have seen over the years.
24 Inspiring and Motivational Autistic Women and Positive Role Models
I Am AspienWoman is a highly visual book describing the newly emerging Autistic female phenotype in over 300 pages and features 24 inspirational and motivating Autistic Woman who serve as positive role models, showcasing ability and possibility. This section is headed up by none other than Dr. Temple Grandin, whose strengths based positive approach I admire. The mentors come from countries including the United States, Canada, Australia, the United Kingdom and Denmark and were chosen for their positive strengths based attitude, their personal abilities and their passion for advocating for Autism and/or helping others. Here is a snapshot of the Mentor section.
To see and read more about these inspirational mentors, pick up your copy of I Am AspienWoman, available in eBook, paperback and hardcover versions at http://www.aspiengirl.com
About the Author
Tania Marshall is a best selling author, a 2015 ASPECT Autism Australia National Recognition Award Nominee (Advancement Category) and a 2015 eLIT Gold Medal Award winner. She is the author of I am AspienGirl
(2014), I Am AspienWoman (2015) and AspienPowers. She currently works in busy full-time private practice, providing diagnostic assessments, intervention, support and problem solving consultations to males and females ages 2-76 years of age, in-person or via Skype.
Tania is an Australian Psychological Society (APS) Identified Autism Practitioner, a Helping Children with Autism Early Intervention Service Provider (HWCA), a Better Start for Children with a Disability Provider, an approved Medicare provider of psychological services and a trained Secret Agent Society (SAS) Practitioner. All inquiries to email@example.com
2015 All rights reserved Tania Marshall