This is a recent FAQ on self-deprecation in neurodiverse females. As always, If you like it please share and leave your positive comments or other questions below. This video was made by the Neurodiversity Academy, founded by and funded by AspienGirl girl.com
On the Bright end of the Autism Spectrum and the female Autism Crisis: How and Why Do Bright Autistic Females fly under Professional Radar?
Female Autism is a new and complex area of research with information in this area of Autism growing exponentially. Both empirical studies and qualitative differences are starting to show show that females ‘meet the diagnostic criteria’ in different ways from males. This then leads to females being misdiagnosed, mistreated and/or medicated. In 2015 alone, there have been over 15 gender studies published regarding the differences between males and females. While research is starting to catch up with clinical and anecdotal research, the time it will take for this to trickle down to professionals and those at the ground level may take many years, with females continuing to be under diagnosed and/or misdiagnosed. Many girls and women exist today without a diagnosis. She may have even been assessed by a professional working in the area, but was told she did not meet the “criteria”. If a female can get an accurate diagnosis, she is then often left without intervention and/or support. This is what I call the ‘Female Autism Crisis’.
The ‘Female Autism Crisis’
There is a lack of awareness, understanding and education regarding the female profile or ‘phenotype’, a range of often subtler characteristics, strengths and challenges that do not fit the male profile nor does a female with a diagnosis of Autism feel she fits that profile Common characteristics have been outlined in my initial blogs which were then turned into my book series (bestsellers I Am Aspiengirl and I am AspienWoman).
There is a need for research on:
the differences between neurotypical girls and Autistic girls
camouflaging of autistic symptoms and impairments, adaptation, learning, masking or compensation abilities
diagnostic and classification challenges
the factors that increase or decrease the risk of a female being misdiagnosed or completely missed; the consequences associated with this
information as to how culture, social factors, gender and/or familial upbringing play a part in female Autism
Why do Autistic females fly under the professional radar and why will this continue to occur for some time?
- Autism was and still is presumed by many people, professionals included, to be a “male” condition. Some professionals acknowledge that females have Autism and may be unaware that males and females often present very differently.
2. Adherence to a very strict DSM5 criteria which has a gender bias. Whilst DSM 5 has hinted at sex differences in Autism, it does not acknowledge brighter individuals. It also does not elaborate much on what these actual differences are or whether there is a female profile or phenotype.
Unfortunately, some girls are now being diagnosed with the DSM5 Social Communication Disorder (SCD)
3. A female phenotype is emerging that suggests an inherent gender bias. The Sfari webinar entitled The Female Autism Conundrum is a great place to start to understand this bias
4. Professional ‘bias’
The child’s behaviors are more a function of the families “alternative” lifestyle
The child does not present with significant enough behaviors, appearing to be “normal” externally
The child does not present with the “male” stereotype or “female” stereotype of what Autism should look like
The childs anxiety, eating issues or behaviors are the focus and the diagnosis is missed
Strict adherence to the diagnostic criteria
5.The emerging female phenotype or profile
A steady collation of anecdotal, clinical and autobiographical reports and current research discuss different presentations, phenotypes or a “female profile” and when assessed with “male-biased” or male-centric tools, many females slip through the cracks. Females on the Autism Spectrum can and do hold eye contact and make superficial conversation. If fact, they can hold superficial conversation for an entire session with a professional!
The girl does not have stereotypical repetitive behaviors
1. There is a lack of assessment tools created for females across the lifespan. The ADOS often shows elevated traits, but not enough to meet the criteria for a diagnosis. Females are often missed because they do not meet the cut-off score, although there are often clues in the ADOS results. Females can have the ability to discuss many social-emotional areas by responding cognitively well. However, many parents, school officials, and/or professionals have found that those social-emotional areas are not often displayed or used adequately, and often then, see the individual using other strategies to cope. It appears that the characteristics and traits as captured by “gold standard” assessment tools may be male-biased due to the gender-centric items that contribute to the scoring. A further comprehensive assessment and/or a second opinion then reveals the individual does meet criteria for Autism or Asperger Syndrome.
2. Females often can and do engage in superficial conversation, make good eye contact and conversation, for the first initial session or hour. This can confuse professionals who are used to seeing particular social clues more immediately and who may think that a female is just “too social”.
3. A lack of understanding regarding coping strategies, compensatory strategies, masking behaviors and the more subtle presentations. Female body language can be expressed quite differently as they learn to act, pretend, mask and compensate for their social difficulties.
4. A lack of trained professionals working in the area of female autism
5. Confusion as to the diagnostic overshadowing, for example, whereby a female may be diagnosed may be told she is “shy” rather than “social anxiety”, may be diagnosed with an “eating disorder” rather than Autism.
6. A lack of understanding how females with Autism present across the lifespan
7. A lack of both quantitative and qualitative data and research regarding females
8. Co-occurring conditions can make assessment a complex and challenging process for diagnosticians working with adults. Whilst many adults have been or are misdiagnosed with a personality disorder, there are adults with both Autism and a personality disorder or those who have been misdiagnosed with Autism and really have a personality disorder
9. A lack of knowledge about the heterogeneity within the female group and the variance in how it presents. There exist different subgroups in females with Autism and range from a more “male” autism profile-type presentation (maybe diagnosed earlier) to those with many “masking” characteristics, where professionals or family members may not believe the person who is telling them about their diagnosis. The female group as a whole consists of much heterogeneity and thus females can present in sub-types (for example, a tomboy, a fashion princess, a bookworm professor type, the athlete). This further causes confusion for diagnosticians who are not familiar with the range of presentations within female Autism (often diagnosed much later, if at all). There is a tendency for an “obsession” to become the person’s identity.
10. For some young females, the need does not appear to be “obvious”, or the “issues” are misinterpreted, UNTIL the teenage years. Presenting concerns may be interpreted as another disorder or generalized. For example, “she’s just got some social issues”, “she”ll grow out of it”, “she is just shy”. Some females present with an eating disorder and Autism is never considered.
11. Some common misconceptions or myths about female Autism can contribute to this issue: “She can make friends, make eye contact and socialize, so she can’t have Autism” “She is too sensitive, so she can’t have Autism” “She holds down a full-time job, so she can’t have Autism” “She has too much empathy so she can’t have Autism”.
12. Females tend to exhibit better expressive behaviors (reciprocal conversation, sharing interests, integrating verbal/nonverbal behavior, imagination, adjusting their behavior by situation) despite similar social understanding difficulties as males), present with different manifestations of friendship difficulties (better initiation but problematic maintenance, overlooked rather than rejected by peers, better self-perceived and parent-reported friendship), and different types of restricted interests and less repetitive use of objects.
13. Some common female differences include: less repetitive behaviors, a greater awareness of the pressure and desire for social interaction, a passive personality, often perceived as “shy”, a “loner”, a tendency to imitate others (copy, mimic, or mask) in social settings, a tendency for social exhaustion (or as I like to call it a “social hangover”), a tendency to “camouflage” their difficulties by masking and/or developing strategies to compensate for the challenges and difficulties they are facing, a tendency to have 1 or few close friendships, a tendency to be “mothered” in a peer group in primary school, BUT often bullied in secondary/high school.
14. There appear to be better linguistic abilities, more imagination (fantasizing and spending time involved in fiction and pretend play and when observed closely the play can be observed to have a lack of reciprocity, to be scripted and/or controlling.
15. Less restricted interests/activities tend to be common involving people and/or animals rather than objects/things (e.g., animals, stationary, soap operas, celebrities, pop music, fashion, horses, pets, and books/literature), which may be seen as less recognized as related to autism. She may be viewed pr perceived as just a “moody bookworm”.
16. A lack of understanding sensory sensitivities and how they impact the ability to function from day to day. An individual may not be able to explain what they are experiencing. In particular, professionals may be more likely to view an individuals’ comments about how they perceive the world as “psychotic”, rather than sensory processing disorder or sensory sensitivities.
17. Diagnostic confusion and not asking the right questions or clarifying what the client has said, can lead to misdiagnosis. Many adult women have multiple labels or diagnoses before they receive the correct diagnosis. As mentioned previously, a lack of understanding as to how sensory sensitivities affect an individual can lead to misdiagnosis. Having a fantasy world and imaginary friends or animals can lead professionals to suspect prodromal schizophrenia in a girl or adolescent. A girl who has developed routines and rituals around food and calories, nutrition and/or exercise may be diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa and the Asperger Syndrome is missed. Borderline Personality Disorder is a common misdiagnosis with females usually not fitting neatly in the diagnostic criteria. Furthur complications include individuals who meet criteria for both Autism and a personality disorder.
Professionals may not understand that many females have the ability to “feel” other people’s feelings and this can be quite overwhelming for them. They may not trust talking about their hyperempathy, hence they will be misunderstood. Females may not trust other people due to the ‘cognitive dissonance’ between non-verbal body language and what she “feels” off the person. In combination with social and relationship challenges, her behaviors look like Borderline traits or Borderline Personality Disorder.
Until professionals catch up with current research on females, they will continue to be diagnosed and/or misdiagnosed with:
Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety
The new DSM5 diagnosis of Social Communication Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Intermittent Explosive Disorder
Schizophrenia or Schizotypal personality disorder
18. Cultural bias can leads to under-identification. For e.g., some immigrant women have been unable to gain an assessment as their differences in communication and behavior are not seen or viewed as unusual, but more of a ‘cultural’ difference
Even if a girl has subtler difficulties than other children with the disorder, those problems may nevertheless have a tremendous impact on her life.
Girls appear to use their intelligence and their abilities to to learn quickly how to combine non-verbal and verbal behaviors in addition to maintaining a reciprocal conversation and be able to initiate, but not maintain friendships. In combination with less to no and different restricted interests and an inability to communicate their needs, girls appear “less” impaired than they really are, especially in the school environment. Females on the Spectrum present with a “look” to them that suggest they are merely more sensitive, emotional and/or anxious than others.
Autism is particularly challenging to detect in girls, especially bright young girls, because generally there are little to no concerns at school. Typically, the Autistic female is doing everything to hide it, from using her cloaking device (hiding in a group) to blending in with the wall (hiding in the classroom) to chameleonism (adopting the social behaviors of another student or adult), allowing them to be much better socially over Autistic males but not neurotypical females. Their ability to hide their Autism is a superpower, but there is a high cost to pay.
Seen in private practice, the subtleties in bright females are abundant, from subtle clues externally (from a slight grimace in their smile to over-exaggerated body language) to social scripts (only observed if you see the girl a few times) to older children or teens who are questioning their gender (because they have always been unable to relate to their peers). Some females want to become boys, some are happy with their androgyny, some are happy to remain female and some change their gender entirely.
Observing, describing and understanding the unique presentation of autism in girls is the beginning to improve identification rates and create unique resources just for females. Understanding the heterogeneity of this group of females is also very important. In my 2nd book I Am AspienWoman, I discuss the differences and subtypes. Developing diagnostic tools is imperative as are intervention resources specifically for female
Tania can be reached for fee-for-service impressions assessments (in person or Skype), consultations, problem solving consultations and/or support, interviews and/or presentations/workshops, and/or book translations at email@example.com
Tania divides her time between full-time private practice, research and writing her books series.
To subscribe to the AspienGirl newsletter or to become and affiliate and earn 10% on all books referred, go to http://www.aspiengirl.com
To purchase I Am AspienGirl or I Am AspienWoman or pre-order AspienPowers or I Am AspienBoy, go to http://www.aspiengirl.com
For more information about female Autism or female Asperger Syndrome, go to http://www.taniamarshall.com
Future Books and Webinar Series
20 Reasons for obtaining an Adult Autism diagnosis
One of the most frequent questions I am asked is about the relevance of obtaining a formal diagnosis or formalizing a self-diagnosis. My 2nd book, I Am AspienWoman alludes to this very topic through powerful images, experiences, thoughts and feelings of many adult autistic women. There are many valid reasons for obtaining a diagnosis and the majority of women who receive one explain the benefits in the book. I have included a couple of pages from the book and you can now pre-order I Am AspienWoman, available in eBook, paperback and hardcover, at http://www.aspiengirl.com You will receive $10 off if you order an I Am AspienGirl© and I am AspienWoman Combo. I hope you enjoy the book as much as I did writing it!
Tania is available for in-person or Skype consultations, assessments or problem-solving sessions. To book appointments or discuss and/or book availability for presentations, conferences, publishing, translation and media interviews or inquiries, please email Tania@aspiengirl.com
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Tania Marshall is a best selling author, a 2015 ASPECT Autism Australia National Recognition Award Nominee (Advancement Category) and a 2015 eLIT Gold Medal Award winner for her first self-published book entitled “I Am AspienGirl© : The Unique Characteristics, Traits and Strengths of Young Females on the Autism Spectrum”, foreword by Dr. Judith Gould. The sequel to this book entitled “I Am AspienWoman: The Unique Characteristics, Traits and Strengths of Adult Females on the Autism Spectrum”, Foreword by Dr. Shana Nichols is available September, 2015. Tania is currently writing the third book in her book series entitled “AspienPowers: The Unique Constellation of Strengths, Talents and Gifts of Females with Autism Spectrum Conditions”. The Spanish version of I am Aspiengirl© , entitled Soy AspienGirl is now available. Tania’s work has been translated and/or cited in numerous publications including Sarah Hendrickxs’ recent release entitled “Women and Girls with an Autism Spectrum Disorder” (2015), foreword by Dr. Judith Gould.
Tania currently works in busy full-time private practice, providing diagnostic assessments, intervention and support to males and females ages 2-76 years of age. Tania is an Australian Psychological Society (APS) Identified Autism Practitioner, a Helping Children with Autism Early Intervention Service Provider (HWCA), a Better Start for Children with a Disability Provider, an approved Medicare provider of psychological services and a trained Secret Agent Society (SAS) Practitioner.
© 2015-2017 All rights reserved Tania Marshall
Autism spectrum conditions, including Asperger’s syndrome, are challenging to identify in adults. Without appropriate assessment, many individuals may go undiagnosed, without appropriate support and treatment.
Many girls and women are going undiagnosed or misdiagnosed because the majority of the research has been conducted on males and there is a great need of research based on females compared to NT females, research based assessment tools for females and interventions for females. There is also a great need for these tools to be made readily accessible to professionals, in other countries and other languages. At present, there are few professionals in the world both trained and experienced in assessing and/or working with females on the Spectrum, across the lifespan. At this point in my career, I have worked with hundreds, closer to 1,000 females, from ages 18 months to 78 years of age, of various sub-types, symptomatology, mild to severe traits, a variety of levels of Giftedness, many professional performers (singers, musicians, comedians, actors, models), professionals athletes, professional artists, professional authors, high-profile individuals, all at different points on the Social Spectrum, some with gender dysphoria, some with sexual fluidity, parenting and being a mother, being in trouble with the law, stalking and obsessiveness, working in the sex trade, being sectioned into a mental health facility (and the experiences that go with that), have work-related challenges, and much more.
Females with Autism or Aspergers may be picked up for Autism in the teenage years with depression, anxiety or an eating disorder, if they are at all. Many females exist who are undiagnosed or misdiagnosed and continuing to have mental health problems because of this. Some are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which may or may not be appropriate, although many have BPD traits, and I have worked with individuals who have both. For adults, no-one knew of Asperger Syndrome or Autism back in their childhood. So a comprehensive early childhood and teenage autobiographical account is an extremely important piece of an assessment. In addition, other perspectives from people who know the person very well are important. A comprehensive assessment of an adult can include a variety of assessment tools, depending on the person. It also involves childhood photographs, report cards and comments, parental and/or partner perspectives, formal assessment tool(s) and an exploration of abilities, talents and/or gifts.
The vast majority of women I work with are on the bright end of the Spectrum, and tell me their reasons for seeking a diagnosis range from self-understanding and awareness to improving their relationships, to improving their works relationships, to treating their anxiety and or depressive episodes. are not seeking services, support, nor government support pension or services. They are wanting to know why they have “felt different” for so long, wanting to know what career is best for them, wanting to know how to structure their lives. They don’t want o be on government disability not do they see they value in that. They like working, want to work and contribute.
Presently there are ZERO adult assessment tools for females, very little research that is based on females and no specific research based interventions for females. This is a crisis for females. It is challenging for females to find a professional or organization familiar with the female autism research, how to assess females and then how to support them.
When I conduct impressions assessments, the assessment of adults explore the areas of social communication and interaction, repetitive and stereotypical behaviour, sensory issues and abilities or gifts. Feedback is provided, recommendations, highly recommended resources and a “What Next?” discussion is also involved.
Generally speaking, my comprehensive adult diagnostic impressions assessments include the following:
A positive assessment or diagnosis is just the beginning.It is never to late to receive a diagnosis and the benefits outweigh any disadvantages.
While my diagnosis is based on the current DSM-5 Criteria, it is by no means a cut and dry process. The DSM is a working document and as such, does not accomodate well to females on the Spectrum.
Diagnosis, ultimately from my perspective, is best done when in collaboration with the client (and their partner or spouse when relevant) as a way to inform, educate, reflect and empower.
Tania A. Marshall is an award winning and best selling author, a 2016 and 2015 ASPECT Autism Australia National Recognition Awards Nominee (Advancement category) and a psychologist. Her first book, I Am AspienGirl: The Unique Characteristics, Traits and Gifts of Females on the Autism Spectrum, Foreword by Judith Gould, UK, is a Amazon best-seller and a 2015 IPPY eLIT Gold Medal Book Award Winner.
I Am AspienGirl has been translated into both Spanish and Italian (release dates of July and August 2015 respectively). Additional completed translations include: German, Japanese and Brazilian Portuguese. Other languages currently under completion include: Dutch, French, Norwegian (by SPISS), Hebrew and Chinese.
Tania has completed the sequel to I Am AspienGirl, entitled “I am AspienWoman: The Unique Characteristics, Traits and Strengths of Females on the Autism Spectrum, foreword by Dr Shana Nichols (lead author of Girls Growing up on the Autism Spectrum). The release was 2015. This book includes a section of 24 females, all diagnosed as on the Spectrum, showcasing their strengths and also offering important advice to others. Tania is proud to announce that her 2nd book “I Am AspienWoman” recently won an IPPY eLIT Gold Medal in the “Women’s Issues” category.
Tania is an Australian psychological society (APS) autism identified medicare provider,
helping children with autism (HCWA) early intervention service provider, a better start early intervention provider and an Australian government medicare approved mental health provider. She is also a trained Secret Agent Society (SAS) social skills practitioner.
I Am AspienGirl Book’s 1st Week has been insane! The book came out in e-book format and made it straight to the Amazon #2 best seller list! Today I received the paperback version which will begin shipping out the end of the month of June 2014. We are also putting out a special hardcover edition, coming soon.
If you like the book, please go to Amazon.com and leave a book review and let your friends, school staff, professionals, Autism organisations and libraries know.
For more information on the book series or the book’s author:
The following list is an official working document consisting of the unique characteristics and traits of young girls and teenagers with Asperger Syndrome, or High Functioning Autism. This list comes from the many young females I have worked with over the years and currently work with. I have assessed, observed, diagnosed and worked with hundreds of girls and women of all ages. This document is based on my clinical anecdotal evidence and research by other well-known professionals. I will be modifying and/or updating this list from time to time. This list was written from my reflections, observations and experience, and is written in no particular order. No-one person needs to have every trait, and it is rare that a person would identify with every trait. ***This list is not a research-based female profile. It is a descriptive anecdotal profile, much like the early day descriptions that Asperger, Kanner and Frankl described of the boys they observed. Please be mindful that research often lags behind anecdotal, observational and clinical work. Updated October 04, 2016
The following profile was created for older teens and family members who are considering a formal diagnosis and to assist mental health professionals in recognizing Asperger Syndrome or Autism in young females.
Females with Asperger Syndrome experience their symptoms in varying levels, so while some Aspiengirls are highly introverted, others are not. Females with Asperger Syndrome or Autism tend to be discriminated due to the wide spectrum of abilities or levels of functioning that exists. The majority of females do not receive a formal diagnosis until teenagers or well into their adult years. This list typifies many of the girls and teens I have worked with. This document is based on my clinical anecdotal evidence and research by other well-known professionals. I will be modifying and/or updating this list from time to time.
- Natural born leaders, seen by girls who are strong willed, often very serious, intense, independent, “My Way” and/or stubborn and bossy
Intelligence. Bright with an Intense and insatiable curiosity about the world, people, how things work, what people are doing. May be seen in the persistent asking of questions. Usually high average to genius level, uneven profile of abilities
Intense emotions and mood swings
Highly Sensitive and sensory issues (visual, hearing, smell, touch, balance and movement, intuition). A feeling of being different to their peers.
Social skills differences, which may be displayed in a variety of ways that vary from their same-age peers. For e.g., may be shy in social situations, have one best friend or be a floater (floats from one group to another and having superficial connections with others). A less developed or little understanding of facial expressions, social context, non-verbal body language, theory of mind.
Self-taught. The ability to teach themselves or learn about anything they are interested in. A preference to direct their learning, rather than teacher-directed learning.
A high sense of justice and fairness (empathy for the “underdog”) and adherence to rules about how the world and people should operate and/or behave
Perfectionistic and high standards towards self and others
Anxiety and/or fears, including negative all-or-nothing thinking and/or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or obsessive tendencies.
Gifts or Talents, which may include but are not limited to singing (perfect pitch) and/or music, writing, reading, artistic creations, languages, self-taught, fast learner or other talent(s)
Fine and/or gross motor difficulties, clumsiness, a lack of co-ordination
Difficulties understanding the human social hierarchy, age groups and roles within a group, family
Sleep issues (difficulty getting to sleep due to thinking too much and/or worrying about events that happened that day or what may or may not happen the next day), often not a morning person, tend to prefer staying up later at night
Stomach issues (cramping, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, gas) are quite common, due to gluten, wheat and/or casein allergies/intolerances
Hyperfocus. May not respond to their name being called due to being fully engaged in thought or an activity
Hyperempathy, emotionally empathic and very caring (for e.g., may lead to bringing home stray or injured animals)
Intense love and/or interest in animals, nature, celebrities, fiction, art, mathematics, languages and/or other cultures. May be obsessed with a person, real or fiction, in an unhealthy manner. Other common special or obsessive interests may include but are not limited to: philosophy, psychology, history (for example, Ancient Egypt or Rome, hieroglyphics), languages, Wicca, Vampires, Occultism, psychological profiling and/or criminology/serial killers/detective/FBI/forensic psychologist, science/space/NASA/Stephen Hawking, technology and programming, physical appearance (for example, Gothic, ultra-feminine, tomboy), fantasy, English literature, Law, make-up artistry, art, acting).
Usually stand out as different from her peers, in terms of her dress (some girls are ultra princess-like in their clothing choices while others prefer to wear more comfortable and functional clothing
Facial expressions may not match the situation or her mood (for example, smiling or laughing in a serious situation)
May have interests that are mature/advanced AND/OR immature for her age (for example, a young child’s interest in english literature, opera or creative writing
May be advanced in reading ability OR have trouble with reading comprehension
May be advanced with mathematics/numbers OR have difficulties (dyscalculia)
May have Irlen Syndrome
May have Dyslexia
May have Auditory Processing Disorder
May have attention/focusing/impulsivity/hyperactivity issues (see Dr. Daniel Amen’s 7 types of ADD/ADHD at http://www.amenclinics.com/conditions/adhd-add)
In social situations, she may be shy, quiet, even mute at times OR loud, very verbal and/or aggressive, imposing on other’s boundaries
Has difficulty with asking for help when needed, saying “no” or asserting her own personal boundaries
As mentioned previously, she may have trouble with her own boundaries, in addition to the boundaries of others
May be naive, vulnerable and have a tendency to be taken advantage of. Often confused socially, saying she knows what to do in a social situation when she really does not. Girls appear to be better than boys at masking the traits of autism in social situations. However, girls are less able to do so in unfamiliar settings.
May bring home stray animals, homeless friends or homeless strangers, much to their parents chagrin
- May avoid demands that cause her anxiety (Pathological Demand Avoidance, see http://www.thepdaresource.com/)
Usually has a low frustration tolerance
May have a different voice, for example, younger than her age, talks “babyish” for her age at times, speaks in an accent or in a monotone voice.
Avoids complying with requests from adults and may have difficulty with authority figures
May be clingy with one or two friends and has trouble sharing her friends with other children
May be a tomboy, a fashion diva or a princess. May or may not be interested in looking feminine.
May not be interested in fashion at all or be obsessed with it
Experiences social exhaustion or “social hangover”, from an inability to socialize as much as her peers are able to.
Many females can look people in the eye and have superficial conversations with them
Often well-behaved at school and has “melt-downs” at home (usually due to social exhaustion)
May play with younger or older children
May have language issues, particularly in semantic-pragmatics and expressive and/or receptive language
May prefer to talk and/or play with boys
May not apologize when she has made a social error OR may appease and apologize too much, even when she does not have too
May watch and/or observe others playing before joining in
May copy, minic or clone herself on other girls, also known as “Social Echolalia”, a mirroring of other children, giving her a superficial social confidence and skill-set by acting the part of another person. However, the complexities of the next step of unwritten social skills soon becomes apparent when she has to navigate the expectations and demands that come with reciprocal relationships and maintaining them. This is both confusing and exhausting for her
May have imaginary friends and/or imaginary animals
May spend more time setting up a play scene, rather than playing with the characters in the scene
May be obsessed with fantasy worlds of fairies, witches, imaginary friends, imaginary animals, dragons, anime, or other
May be highly visual, creative, more imaginative then her peers
She may dominate when playing or talking with other girls OR be passive, quiet and “invisible” within the group. If she is dominating, her play tends to appear to be shared with others but she dominates and insists that others follows her rules and themes. If and/or when others refuse to be engaged she continues on with her own ideas or play. Her play tends to be mostly repetitive. If she is passive, she’s more likely to be compliant and may not come across as having social impairments. She may also be shy, embarrassed, coy, naive, innocent, unassuming, and hide or “camouflage” her difficulties, even lying about whether she needs or understands something or needs assistance or help. She is most likely to be described as “flying under the radar” or “blending in with the walls”.
A tendency to collect information on people rather than things. May be interested in psychology, social work, nursing, teaching or helping others
A tendency to ask a lot of questions, often challenging her parents or other adults, who are unable to provide her with the appropriate or the right answers; may correct the adult or teacher and point out their mistake
A tendency to imitate other girls in order to initiate social contact but then have great difficulty maintaining and keeping the reciprocal friendship going. It is this part that often girls find stressful and they will often ruminate about the social situation, what they could have said or done differently, often late at night
She may appear to have a rich imaginative world but the quality is atypical, tending to be a blend of fantasy and reality
She may have an intense interest in the family pets, who may be her best friends, rather than other children or her peers
May have motor tics, Tourette’s Syndrome
May have a different quality of eye gaze/eye contact. May stare at others
May not have a best friend, but be a “flitterer”, having many acquaintances, some to whom she may refer to as a best friend
May have difficulty completing tasks
May be highly organized, ordered and/or clean OR unorganized and have hygiene issues
May follow other children closely, studying their mannerisms, actions, words, and so on
Intense. There is no other word for it. AspienGirls have an intensity in everything they do. If they cannot do it right, do it properly, do it right the first time, they tend to refuse, avoid, and or express frustration/distress. When taught to persevere, to develop frustration tolerance, to manage their emotions, they are most often successful in whatever they pursue, to the point of becoming an “expert”.
Superior photographic memory and weaker short-term memory
Can be obsessive about people, especially if they feel or perceive that they have been “wronged”. This can get them into trouble at times for hurting others or taking revenge. May obsess over or stalk people. May have a misguided sense of justice that leads them to getting in trouble with other people, lawyers or the legal system/law.
May question why they are “different” or what is “wrong” with them or why they can’t seem to “fit in” of feel that the “mothership dropped me off on the wrong planet and I’m just waiting for it to pick me up”
Lack a clear sense of identity
May be described as “serious”, “shy”, “odd”, “eccentric”, “adult-like”, “weird” in some ways, yet “babyish” in other ways
A tendency to not be accepted by her same-age peers
High likelihood of being bullied and/or teased, overlooked or ignored
Intense dislike of disagreement, conflict, arguments, people yelling or shouting at them or around them. This them tends to an avoidance of conflict causing more serious communication difficulties. For example, this may be observed in a person who is unable to deal directly with a person they may have an issue with, but rather engages in talking or gossiping about their issue with that person with everyone else.
An inability to handle and/or cope with stress, conflict and/or change
An inner resilience, strength and ability (strong will and determination) to bounce back from stress and setbacks time and time again. This does depend on particular internal and external factors at play.
Some strengths, abilities, talents and interests may include: enjoying fantasy worlds, fiction, acting, modelling, art, mathematics and numbers, music, song-writing, perfect pitch, writing fiction, languages and/or translating, caring for nature and/or animals, research, learning and studying, intelligence, teaching, helping others, science and medicine.
May invade other’s personal space or stand too close to them or be unaware of boundaries
May dislike people looking or staring at her. This is often a huge barrier for talented and gifted performers (for example, singers performing in front of others or crowds, actors being on the red carpet).
May be perceived as being “just shy and quiet”
Most often confused by the conversations of their teenage peers
May walk on her tip-toes or have an “odd gait”, motor difficulties
81. May be very social, very loud, extroverted and make continual attempts to be part of a group. Her attempts are clumsy and her peers may see her as not quite fitting in. She lacks social skills and a social understanding to help the interactions go gracefully. Her peers don’t quite understand her social awkwardness and may be be mean to her, ostracize her and/or make fun of her, taking advantage of her naivety. She may appear to “flitter” from one person to the other or one group to the other, unable to have a typical friendship, due to smothering people or groups. Her peers take advantage of her, make fun of her and/or will be mean to her, saying they are her friend one day, but their actions prove otherwise. The issues revolve around girls being mean to her and cutting her from the group. She often smothers others and doesn’t understand the levels of friendship or social boundaries.
- Thumb-sucking may last well-past pre-school age, until 9 or even 10 years of age.
83. Often as a teen, spending breaks/lunches alone in the hallways, toilets, library, or with a teacher, due to not being part of a group and/or having no friends.
84. May have Alexithymia, an inability to identify and describe emotions in the self
- May have Synaesthesia, in particular mirror-touch synaesthesia. Research studies hypothesize that empathy is experienced by a process of simulation. So for example, when we see someone feeling happy or sad, the same neural circuits used to make them feel happy are activated in our brain. Since mirror touch synesthetes have heightened activation of mirror systems, it can be hypothesized that that these individuals may also experience higher empathy, and this has been confirmed by research in this area. Mirror touch synesthetes experience more empathy than non-synesthetes. A research study by Michael Banissy et. al determined this by using the empathy quotient (EQ), consisting of three main scales: cognitive empathy, emotional reactivity, and social skills. Mirror touch synesthetes showed significantly higher EQ scores in emotional reactivity than in controls. However, synesthetes did not show higher scores in cognitive empathy and social skills. Thus empathy is multifaceted, and the tactile mirror system may not be fully responsible for the ability to empathize (For more information, check out Banissy, Michael; Jamie Ward (July 2007). “Mirror Touch Synaesthesia is Linked with Empathy”. Nature Neuroscience 10 (7): 815–816. doi:10.1038/nn1926).
Attwood, Tony (2006). Asperger’s and Girls. Future Horizons.
Kopp S, Gillberg C. Res Dev Disabil. 2011 Nov-Dec;32(6):2875-88. Epub 2011 Jun 12.
Gould, Judith and Ashton Smith, Jacqui. (2011). Diagnosis or Misdiagnosis? Women and Girls with Autism and PDA
FAQ: Why do your pictures include visuals of girls or women in superhero outfits? In my clinical experience and work, I never cease to be amazed by an Aspiengirls’ ability to bounce back from stress and setbacks time and time again. I refer to Aspiengirls’ abilities as “aspienpowers” because there is no other group of girls or woman I know of with the unique profile of abilities, traits and characteristics (aspienpowers) that enable them to be highly successful in their chosen careers and/or life, given the right environmental fit and support.
About Tania Marshall
Tania holds a Masters of Science in Applied Psychology and a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. She is a best selling author, child and family psychologist and Autism consultant. She is an APS Autism Identified Medicare Provider, a Helping Children With Autism Early Intervention Service Provider, a Better Start Early Intervention Provider, a Medicare Approved Mental Health Provider and a Secret Agent Society (SAS) Trained Group Facilitator.
Her areas of interest include: Gifted and Talented, Autism, Asperger Syndrome, Twice-Exceptionality, Highly Sensitive Individuals, Learning Disabilities, Performance Anxiety and Psychological Profiling
She regularly provides diagnostic assessments, support and intervention and divides her time between private practice, writing and research.
To enquire or book consultations, assessments, problem solving sessions and/or support, please e-mail Tania at firstname.lastname@example.org
Tania has now completed the first two in a series of books on female Autism. She is now writing her third book entitled AspienPowers: The Unique Constellation of Abilities, Strengths and Talents of Females on the Autism Spectrum”.
Her book series is available for purchase at http://www.aspiengirl.com
To inquire about interviews, articles, workshops, presentations, or translations/translating of her books, please email Tania at email@example.comTania Marshall© 2013-2015. All rights reserved. Thank you.