Boundaries

Boundaries are extremely important because they form the space between two people and what is appropriate and what is not appropriate. It is imperative to have healthy boundaries with your friends, your partner, your family and/or your children. There are also different types of boundaries which is summed up nicely in the visual below. What kind of foundries do you have? Where did you learn your boundaries? Are there any types of boundaries you think you need to work on? What you say no to is as equally important as what you say yes to

This is what happens if you breach someone’s boundaries. It is called stalking and is a criminal offence. #stalking #crime #criminaloffence #criminal #stalker Thank you to those who supported me, you know who you are #grateful #thankyou #justice No worries about the address

2019 Aspect Autism Australia nomination in the advancement category

Thank you #AutismSpectAust Autism Australia for my 4th #autism #nomination grateful to be #acknowledged for my books, videos, MasterClass, articles & blog. I have no idea who nominated me so I hope that you’re reading this as I want to say thank you #SENMAGAZINE #ukedchat #epg #teachin #gdmorewood #DGardnerLawyer #AspienEducation #Transgendertrd #LisaLittman1 #rivernight #LisaMarchiano #4th_WaveNow

Moving Towards a Profile 0f Borderline Personality Disorder and Autism

This is a psychological profile, much like my other profiles. It’s not meant as a post to explain why it happens or the trauma behind it, it is just focused solely on the profile, much like my moving towards a female profile of autism profile. Discussions of underlying trauma and the heterogeneity would be another completely different post.

This topic is a part of my MasterClass Train the trainer on the Assessment and Diagnosis of Autism in females.

Part one

For years, I have been asked to comment on my work with individuals that have both Autism and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This is one of my most frequently asked questions. These requests have come from parents, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, university professors, parents, family members and partners. Yes, there is an overlap between autistic spectrum conditions and BPD. It is important to note that I am not talking about children. BPD and autism can be mistaken for one or the other they can also be misdiagnosed as they have met any similar traits or someone can be diagnosed with autism and miss the borderline personality disorder which cannot be diagnosed until over 18.

It is not difficult to observe a person who is both Autistic and has Borderline to someone who has worked in the area for some time. that’s not to say that it’s a complex area to work in. There are distinguished elevated traits that define both disorders versus one or the other. They are very obvious traits in those with the profile of a person who has both Autism and BPD. Some people have been misdiagnosed, yes, however there is a profile emerging of individuals who have both Autistic traits and BPD traits. This profile is a complex one, but is noted by many professionals, colleagues and parents who work in this area.

The profile consists of traits from both Autism and BPD, and as such, can be challenging to manage, as reported by parents, professionals, doctors, social workers, the prison system, partners, family members and friends. This profile will be updated on a regular basis.

Differences noted are an elevation of the core areas that cause difficulty for individuals on the Autism Spectrum, including social communication, emotional immaturity and dysregulation, self-harm and suicidal ideation, impulsivity, and a dramatic personality type. A person with Autism is not as histrionic as someone with both Autism and BPD. A person who has both is often observed with the following typical traits:

Complete avoidance of communication as a means of problem solving. Utilizing immature social skills such as telling on others, reporting them to someone else is common.

The sudden Burning of bridges in a much more dramatic and impulsive way than an Autistic person. This has been interpreted by former partners and family members as ‘ghosting’, blocking or reporting the person on social media. It is the suddenness and lack of appropriate explanation that is reported to be very frustrating.

Misunderstanding someone’s good intentions for them in a malevolent way when that is not the intention.

Often impulsively report (or tell on) others for something that the person did not actually do.

Putting words in others people mouths causes the family member, partner or professional to repeatedly say, “I did not say that” or “stop putting words in my mouth” and is reported to be one of the most problematic frustrations by a family member.

Are extremely rigid about how others should behave, however they themselves do not behave in a similar fashion. If they believe someone is not behaving how they think the person should be, they will tell on them, report them or otherwise be self-righteous in policing other people behaviors.

Are often led by their intense emotions, to the extent that they cannot think properly, and act purely from their own emotions and point of view. This presents itself as disallowing a conversation to take place, jumping to conclusions, catastrophizing, putting words in other peoples mouth and ignoring boundaries or misinterpreting someone setting appropriate boundaries.

When someone initiates a boundary (for e.g., “Please dont have anything to do with that person, they are bad news”), the boundary, which was actually meant to help the person, is received and taken as a threat or harassment. The parent or professional has noticed that the person does not understand boundaries and lacks them, hence they try to teach them about boundaries and report finding it next to impossible to get the chance to speak about the importance of boundaries because the person immediately accuses the boundary initiator as harassing them, when that is actually the farthest from the truth. This can often get the Autistic Borderline into considerable trouble with law enforcement, once law enforcement find out the details of what really happened. Multiple parents have reported that when they impose a boundary, it is taken as harassment. In the mind of the Borderline Autistic, they do not understand boundaries and interpret them as harassment. Sometimes it has been reported that they are genuinely surprised when the Police show up at their door to arrest them. Parents have reported being in utter frustration that they “cannot even have a normal conversation about a topic”.

Are often emotionally and socially the emotional age of a child, despite being an adult chronologically. They will react as if they were a child.

They are often are serial complainers and at times may also stalk others or obsess over people, usually a celebrity and at times, act on that. This leads to them getting in trouble with the law for stalking or being an accomplice to stalking. Often their lack of insight and dramatic and dysfunctional social communication deficits, lead them into trouble, due to their use of childish complaints, threats, and inability to have a conversation or resolve a conflict. In other words, parents report that it is almost impossible to have a conversation with them. They report their adult child as behaving more like a child that their age, often not allowing the other person to speak, putting words in their parents mouths (often one of the most frustrating traits for a parent) and obsessing and stalking people. Some examples of this may be following a person, driving by their house, following them on the Internet or social media, loitering near their homes and/or assisting someone else to stalk that person on or off-line. Some have gotten into trouble for not adhering to boundaries between a teacher and a student, usually for sex with a minor.

A simple boundary request is met with a barrage of hostility, accusations and putting words in the person being stalked’ s mouth. This is highly disturbing to the person being stalked and loved ones who only want the best for the Borderline Autistic.

The use of defense mechanism are observed in a very dramatic and erratic fashion. Projection is often used. For e.g,., a person who is asking someone to stop stalking them is not met with any empathy, but rather excuses as to why their behaviors should continue. Zero degrees of empathy may be heard via remarks such as, “well you put yourself on social media and thats is what social media is for, so I am not doing anything wrong’. Or, “there are all kinds of pages on social media. How could I possible know it was your page”.

A Borderline Autistic see the world very differently than someone who is Autistic only. Rational conversations can take place, including the teaching of new skills. The reactions are far less dramatic and often there is little putting words in another’s mouth. There is a noticeable difference in terms of reactions or over-reactions to other people. Most commonly seen is ‘splitting’, either placing them on a pedestal or abuse and discard the person. They think in very black and white, all or nothing thinking, which caused tremendous difficulties in terms of maintaining friendships or relationships.

Sample comversations will be supplied to assist in understanding how a conversation gets derailed and just how difficult it can be to just talk to a Borderline Autistic individual.

Interpersonal reactivity was reported by most people to be the most challenging in terms of trying to maintain a relationship with the person. Reduced empathy was also noted as a difficult challenge for family members followed by reduced interpersonal trust.

Self-harm occurs in the context of BPD via interpersonal conflict and emotional dysregulation and reduced mentalizing, whereas in ASC, self-harm typically results from sensory dysregulation.

This means that different intervention approaches need to occur according to the profile or phenotype of the person.

It is not uncommon for Autistic individuals to have developed narcissistic traits as a mean of coping with their undiagnosed Autism. The earlier the intervention, the better the prognosis. Both people with ASC and BPD are significantly challenged in terms of understanding and responding to emotions and in interpersonal functioning.

BPD patients have elevated autistic traits and a strong drive to systemize, suggesting an overlap between BPD and ASC. However the BPD impairment in interpersonal functioning, poor empathy, problems with trust and intimacy and difficult personality traits, including disinhibition, antagonism, difficulty with altered social cognition and impulsivity is challenging to treat. Parents, family members, friends, partners and professionals agreed that it was these very traits that they found challenging to address (with the purpose of assisting them to have better relationships) with the person in question.

Higher suicidality is observed in patients with co-existing BPD. To many professionals the most obvious difference in BPD and autism is one person wants and craves attention. This attention is dysfunction as it is sought through negativity, being the victim a lack of boundaries and a lack of impulse control.
Any females with ASC don’t want or like attention and in trying to fit in may get into trouble via social naivety.

TO BE CONTINUED in Part 2….

More traits

Intervention and treatment

The trauma behind borderline personality disorder

More research and References

Baron-Cohen, Simon, Dudas, Robert E. & Locejoy, Chris (Jan., 2001, 13(1) PLoS One. The overlap between autistic spectrum conditions and borderline personality disorder

Chabrol H, Raynal P., Compr Psychiatry. 2018 Apr, 82:141-143. The co-occurrence of autistic traits and borderline personality disorder.

Dell’Osso L, et al. Compr Psychiatry. 2018. May; 83:7-11. Correlates of autistic traits among patients with borderline personality disorder.

Celebrities and Autism/Asperger Syndrome: The unique needs of actors, models, singers, musicians, and high-profile celebrities

During my lengthy career I have had the opportunity to meet many many people. Some of these people that I have met or are currently working with are celebrities. Celebrities on the Spectrun have unique needs and support that are different than a typical person on the spectrum.

There are many themes that have come from working with celebrities who are on the Spectrum, undiagnosed or diagnosed.

Some of these themes, but not all, are as follows and are a sneak peak into my newest book, originally entitled Behind The Mask, and are therefore under copyright.

  1. Fame and Attention

Generally speaking, people on the spectrum do not like attention, do not seek it nor do they like to be looked at. Many supermodels and celebrities on the spectrum have been doing this since they were young children and have developed coping strategies and compensatory mechanisms to deal with the attention. However, when their role changes it may bring certain mental health issues forward. For example, being in a boyband is a lot different than being solo and touring. One can hide behind musical instruments or being a part of a group is very different from being a solo star.

Freedom and privacy is a sacrifice that has been made and often disrupts the celebrity from going outside into the real world. Many become hermits, reporting they dread red carpet events (panic attacks), photo calls, movie promotions and the amount of yelling and noise directed at them, when they have to make appearances. Many reported dreading interviews, taking selfies and using props to hide behind or insist upon structured interviews, needing to know the questions before the interviews take place. Many also stated that they feel an incongruence, and rapidly doing back and forth between allowing their fans to get close to them to wanting to have absolutely nothing to do with them the next day.

  1. The red carpet and movie premieres

Many celebrities report that the red carpet events movie premiers and the after parties are a ‘nightmare’ for them but they understand that they needed to attend. Most has social exhaustion and/or had to drink or do drugs to have a good time. Most of them have reported that they prefer to go home read a book play with their animal or be in solitude. Many celebrities report using alcohol and drugs to help them get through Red carpet events, movie premiers, after parties, award shows and even being on stage singing or acting.

  1. The Paparazzi

The paparazzi is a special kind of animal that celebrities have to deal with. Not only do they have no privacy because of their security and bodyguards, they also have no privacy due to the paparazzi and their long lens cameras. They find this very distressing, especially when a photograph of them ends up on a tabloid or in the news with a fake story.

  1. Privacy

Privacy is something that is taken for granted by people on the spectrum who are not celebrities. For those on the spectrum, celebrities report that they gave up their right to privacy and this is one of the most challenging aspects of their career. They often do not see this as fair and believe it to be an injustice, vehemently protecting their privacy while others see this as a necessary, although very much disliked part of their career. A common thread is the feeling of belonging to everybody else when out in the public due to the attention, fans, media and paparazzi. Some reported that they have been involved with the paparazzi, in terms of taking their camera’s and not wanting the photos published.

  1. Social naivety and being taken advantage of

Many models, celebrities, musicians, dancers, actors and other celebrities on the spectrum have reported been taken advantage of in a variety of ways. Models and supermodels report photographers and agents taking advantage of them sexually. Actresses have reported being taken advantage of to get a role in a film. Sometimes they got that role and sometimes they didn’t, despite being taken advantage of sexually. Female musicians are particularly used and abused by the companies that own them and their producers. Females have reported that produces have sexually abuse them or text them and have had them signed contract without knowing what they were signing. They also reported that their managers ‘stole’ their music.

  1. Perfect Pitch

Many celebrities on the spectrum that I have worked with have Perfect pitch or near relative perfect pitch, which is a rare talent to find. These musicians sometimes have problems with the audition process due to their inability to keep quiet in terms of what they view as injustice. Many times musicians that I’ve worked with have been dropped by their labels or talent shows due to the director saying that they are “too difficult to work with”. Many singers did not believe that the audition process or how a shoe of event words, was unfair. Some of them have lost great opportunities due to having difficulty understanding how the music industry, for example, works.

  1. Dealing with trolls

Celebrities and those with perceived social status are prone to being targeted by Trolls and stalkers. This is particularly difficult for a person on the spectrum due to their high sensitivity, extreme emotions and some of them believing what the trolls say about them. If you have been trolled or you are being trolled, please read this research paper: “Who do you troll and why? And investigation into the relationship between the dark Triad personality is an online trolling behaviours Towards popular and less popular Facebook profiles.”

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563217305034

People that are or have been stalked need to take immediate action. Many celebrities reported experiencing unwanted contact and that despite the stalker being given the message to stop their behaviors, were fixated and obsessive persons. This can cause some people to become paranoid, and rightly so. In is imperative that stalkers are nipped in the bud.

A good support team around you at all times is imperative and this is also difficult and challenging for people on the spectrum because they want solitude and they don’t want people around them. However for safety concerns, it is an unfortunate necessity or it will get much worse. There are a number of ways to go about gaining that solitude via tricking the paparazzi.

Some people on the spectrum have got in trouble due to assaulting the paparazzi, taking their cameras physically or verbally abusing them. This can be understandable, however their behaviors can lead, at times, to celebrities getting in trouble with the law.

  1. Dealing with mental health issues, depression, anxiety and suicide

Many celebrities have reported that break ups, events, movie premiers and the paparazzi have caused them anxiety attacks, panic attacks and mental health issues. Some celebrities have resorted to the use of alcohol and drugs to manage their mental health issues.

  1. Dealing with the “rag mags”.

Celebrities have reported that one of the biggest problems for them is seeing themselves in the rag mags and reading stories about their lives that are untrue. Their enlarged sense of justice then goes off and this will inducing them a meltdown, unable to cope with the accepted attention that is a normal part of celebrities lives. There is little they can do about it but sue the magazine, if they choose to. They also reported finding it difficult and distressful due to not knowing what the outcome will be in the future. They also reported that they worry about what others will think of them due to the story about them being in the magazine and the lack of truth to it.

  1. Hiding their Autism/Aspergers

Many people on the spectrum have to hide there autism or Asperger’s syndrome label, if they are diagnosed. To some degree, eccentricity is valued in places like Hollywood but ‘autistic’ traits are not, according to the celebrities I have interviewed.

  1. Misinterpretation of non verbal body language, communication and vice versa.

Many celebrities spoke about having a support person to assist them with the more challenging aspects of their career.

  1. Impostor syndrome.

Typically celebrities report that they have a hard time being their complete self in castings or auditions due to stress and worry about the result and whether they get the job or not. More often than not, they spoke to me about feeling like an ‘imposter’.

  1. Alcohol and drugs

Alcohol and drugs are a common problem for high profile Asperger/Autistic individuals. This is usually as a way of regulating emotions, alleviating social anxiety, and coping with living life as a celebrity. Drugs are readily available and often free for celebrities. Some celebrities reported that they were routinely given drugs by their managers.

  1. Control

The companies that own and control them are a major stressor for individuals on the Spectrum. Many have reported being gagged, abused and/or intimidated. Many reported that they were told what to do or not what to do, what to wear or not to wear, right down to their hair, facial hair, tattoos and who to date or not date, as these factors influence their image to their fans. Inequality in terms of being paid less, being given less opportunities than their male cohorts, not being listened to, not being allowed to speak and/or being taken advantage of sexually.

  1. Body Image

Suggestions and expectations for plastic surgery and weight are rife including nose reconstruction, breast implants, butt implants, cheek implants, different coloured contact lenses, hair extensions and/or make up. Anorexia and other eating disorders were also discussed. Some people on the Spectrum found the makeup and costume dressing stressful, as it involves many people touching and being around them.

Support for Celebrities

Celebrities on the Spectrum need a support group and understanding. It is their Autism that enables them to be that amazing singer or actor, a fantastic model or artist, costume designer, screenwriter, director or comedian.

Having a number of supportive and trustworthy people in an celebrity Autistic persons life is paramount.

Having questions to interviews beforehand is very helpful.

Having a support person on the red carpet decreases the anxiety attacks that come as a result of being surrounded by large groups of people screaming at them.

Having a body double to confuse the paparazzi was reported to be very helpful.

Having a support person to assist them with contracts, paperwork, legalities is a must.

Developing a number of strategies and coping mechanisms specific to a celebrity are quite helpful. Those strategies depend on the celebrity, what kind of work they do, how famous they are, what coping strategies they are currently using and defining what hasn’t or does not work.

A positive healthy advocate for the celebrity is imperative. Many celebrities spoke about negative family members and/or managers and/or support persons. They felt that their interests were not protected. It was reported that a major breakdown would ensue after some years of having toxic people in their Iives.

copyright by Tania Marshall 2019

THE DARK TRIAD TRAITS

The Dark triad, as spoken about in my Dark Triad Vimeo series, are very dangerous people. There are those that have narcissistic traits and then there are those who have full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Many of them are in very high places pertaining to work and some have been caught for stalking, sexual abuse or worse.

The trait of smearing is often used by people with Narcissistic traits. If you have ever been mobbed, had your reputation smeared, been gossiped about, online or offline, you are dealing with someone on the Dark Triad. This can include those with Asperger Syndrome and a personality disorder, due to their perceived high sense of justice and a lack of understanding that the situation is none of their business, a lack of understanding of the situation and becoming engaged in smear campaigns against other people. In particular, the love of control is always present.
Narcissist use smear campaigns often. The function of a smear campaign is to give the Narcissist power and control over you. Narcissists keep groups, harems or a group of people who are all unknown to each other out of the need to have their egos stroked, constant validation from the outside world, and for the admiration that the group will give them. This serves to confirm their grandiose sense of self-importance and fulfills their egos. They are often clever chameleons who are also people-pleasers, and use their powers of ‘morphing’ into any personality type that will get their needs met. They morph into a variety of different people to get what they want.

RED FLAG AND TIP: Be wary of people who appear to morph or shape-shift suddenly before your eyes into different personas. Why is this a problem? Because this person is not being authentic in their interactions with you and others. If you witness them smearing them, you bet that they will smear you at some point in the future. They usually do this in the ‘discard’ phase. They do it to ensure that other people see you how they want them to se you, to control the situation and to ensure that you look like the ‘unstable’ person, with them lookin like they are the calm and in control person. The narcissist is very good at getting empaths, highly sensitive people people-pleasers and socially naive people to believe there stories and lies about you. With you and several other on their side, they have more power and support in making you look bad. While you are now viewed as the unstable one, with a huge following of socially naive, people-pleasing, dependent highly sensitive empaths (who are being used), the smear campaign is them accomplished. Others unquestioningly believe the Narcissist.

First of all you were highly valued and put on a pedestal. Not long after be prepared to be devalued, gossiped about and/or mobbed online, stalked and a vicious smear campaign shall follow. The narcissist relied oh his or her groupie to help him/her in their smear campaign.

For the narcissist, the smear campaign is used to accomplish many things:

1) you are depicted as the abuser or unstable person, instead of him/her. The smear campaign is a deflection of your true and accurate accusations of narcissistic abuse;

2) smearing and gaslighting is an excellent tactic to get you to be provoked into a behavior, usually unproductive, and thus serves as proof of just how unstable or sick you are to others when the narcissist tries to argue his or her depiction of you;

3) keeps you from receiving any accolades, positive support or even recognition ot awards for your word, because the narcissist cannot stand any ‘competition’. They are the ‘expert’ and no-one else is allowed to write, talk, educate about a particular topic

4) they will intentionally leave you out and when you ask them what you did wrong, they will only answer the question by disagreeing with you. Make no mistake, they rarely cam answer your questions, often reverting to a ‘word salad’ of nonsense in their answers

5) Narcissists love to use the ‘hoovering’ technique, a strategy they use in order to pull you back into the trauma and dysfunctionality of the relationship as you (the normal person) struggle to reconcile the rumors, gossip or worse about you, with who you actually really are by speaking out against the Narcissists accusations.

6) Narcissists LOVE control and will do anything to get it and keep it. Some examples are making up fake Facebook pages in your name and tearing you down deliberately, controlling the group by supporting their work and not yours, calling and contacting your co-workers and gossiping about you (all made up), being unwilling to talk to you about why they have been discarded, whether that be in work, at home or within your family structure.

The only way to not get pulled into their dysfunctional tactics are by going full no contact with the Narcissist and his/her groups/cult or harem. Remember if you have a friend that gossips, one day you will be targeted next!

Boundaries are a clear RED FLAG!

The assessment and diagnosis of females on the autism: A masterclass

Although we now know there are 4:1 for #females to males with Autism and 2:1 in clinical settings, females have been found to be at an increased risk of a missed diagnosis of #Autism or a misdiagnosis. There are limited studies investigating why this is. In this Online Master class, I tackle the myths surrounding females and Autism, masking, camouflaging, how to assess and diagnose female children, teenagers, adults and the elderly, the predictors or “risk factors” of not receiving a diagnosis, the common themes of #autistic females as noted in autobiographical writings, Identifying female autistic children who are at the greatest risk of mental health issues, #bullying and sexual abuse. These factors all have important implications for clinicians, school-based mental health professionals, teachers, and parents who share the responsibility for raising girls with autistic conditions. How to explain the diagnosis and the what next section after the #diagnosis is also provided and are co~existing conditions or disorders. Case studies will be provided along with assessment tools and important information pertaining to how to identify an autistic girl. The earlier the diagnosis the better the prognosis and outcome. For more information on this MasterClass email tania@aspiengirl.com

Asperger Syndrome and Splitting

Splitting is a term used in psychology and describes the inability of s person to hold opposing thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. Splitting is most often seen when a person sees or views the world in terms of ‘black and white ‘all or nothing.

Splitting is known as a distorted way of thinking in which the person can only think in positive or negative attributes of a person or event and this Type of thinking is not measured, cohesive or rational. It is responsible for many social communication problems.

Splitting is One of many defense mechanisms that People utilise in social relationships. They may or may not have an additional diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Yes there are adults who have both autism and borderline personality disorder. Those who engage in splitting typically view people, events, or even themselves in all or nothing, Black or White terms or thinking. This Defence mechanism allows a person to readily discard things they have assigned as “bad” and to embrace things they consider “good”, even if those things are harmful or bad to them.

Nothing good can come from the defence mechanism of splitting and it significantly interferes with all kinds of relationships and lead to intense and self-destructive behaviors.

The self-destructive behaviours come from a person who ‘splits’ Because they typically frame people or events in terms that are absolute with no middle ground for discussion. They are either an angel or a devil and nothing in between. To put someone on a pedestal seeing them as only good or seeing them as all bad is unfair and illogical. Human beings are a combination of strengths and challenges and Are certainly not perfect.

Individuals who split Speak in terms of either “always” or “never”, view people as either “evil” and “bad” or as “angels” and “perfect”. They see opportunities as having “no risk” or as a “complete con”, When the facts are that it could be nothing further from the truth.

The black-and-white all nothing thinking can be seen in people who view science, history, or news is either a “complete fact” or a “complete lie”. There is no middle ground. this pervasive style of thinking is damaging to others and the person doing the splitting.

In Regards to relationships, when things go wrong the person who splits feels “cheated”, “ruined”, or “screwed”.

People who split can be very challenging to be around or work with because what makes splitting even more confusing is that the persons belief can sometimes be iron-clad or it can shift back-and-forth from one moment to the next, in a very erratic and unpredictable way. The person appears to be very unstable and confusing when they are splitting.

People who engage in splitting are reported to be observed as being overly dramatic or overwrought, especially when declaring things have either “completely fallen apart” or “completely turned around”. Remember they think in extremes. There is no grey or shades of grey.

People who split have also been described as having behaviours such as acting out, without consideration or consequences. Really good examples of this type of behaviour can be seen in relationships where one maybe taken advantage of Or become loyal to a person without knowing them and seeing them as an angel and putting them on that pedestal. When they are warned about The person they have put on a pedestal, they are unable to see the person in a different light given the new information they have received. Their rigid trust in the person being an ‘angel’ or a devil eventually hurts them. Presenting the person with alternate evidence and information does not appear to work presenting the person with alternate evidence and information does not appear to work. For example, presented them with evidence that proves otherwise they Are unable and or unwillingness to take a flexible point of you. They appear to be unable to take in the new information about the person or the relationship. This can cause quite problematic relationships. For example, Not being able to take on information that a person is in trouble with the police And continuing to believe the person is an angel can have serious ramifications for the person. Later They find out that their Angel has been charged with a criminal offence, they still have trouble seeing a different point of view about the person. When this happens the person has trouble with their thought processes in regards to the person they viewed as so angelic. The social naivete is almost always present. Many Individuals on the spectrum have found themselves in this unpleasant type of situation.

At times even when given the proof, they will deny and consciously ignore the facts of reality. Their mode of communication exists of passive-aggression and an indirect expression of hostility. They are well known for projection which is assigning an undesirable emotion to someone else that they themselves have or do. They are well known for using omnipotence, the belief that a certain person possesses superiority in intelligence or power. Another well-known characteristic is emotional hypochondriasis and consists of trying to get others to understand how severe their emotional pain is. Many family members describe the use of projective identification which is denying your own feelings, projecting them onto someone else, and then behaving toward that person in a way that forces them to respond to you with the feelings you projected onto them. This can sound very confusing to someone who hasn’t experienced it and astonishingly accurate for those who have experienced it or live with somebody who engages in splitting.

In terms of helping somebody who has the trait of splitting, modified CBT and DBT can be effective in changing rigid thought processes from Black or White to seeing the shades of grey and understanding that putting someone on a pedestal or down in ‘hell’ is unrealistic, as human beings are not perfect. Individuals who engage in these type of therapies report better social communication, better relationships with other people and better familial relationships.