Some Post-DiagnosticThemes from the Autobiographical Narratives of AspienWomen
Many female adults question and reflect upon the whether or not they should seek out a diagnostic assessment. A common pathway to a diagnosis is via their own child’s diagnosis. Another common pathway is through Google, also known as self-assessment. Many female adults either seek post-diagnostic support and/or write to me post-diagnosis, discussing some of their most common thoughts and feelings.
1. A sense of relief is the most common reaction, post-diagnosis. Finally, there is an explanation for the difficulties and challenges experienced, to date. Finally, they are getting somewhere in terms of getting the questions they have had throughout their life answered. Finally, they switch the labels, keeping the appropriate ones and inappropriate “label”‘s
“I think I had an idea in my head that once an official diagnosis was obtained my world would open up and all of a sudden my difficulties would melt away. (I didn’t think that one through very well!). But of course you wake up just the same …. I’m finally getting to a place where waking up as me is ok! I am 41 and spent years thinking I was defective so it’s going to take a few more to disregard that belief”
2. Later on, other emotions may appear, such as anger and grief and lots more questions. Usually, the anger stems from the often obsessive “what-if’s”. What if I had been diagnosed when I was in school? What if my teachers, family members knew I had Aspergers, rather than being “naughty”? What if the teachers knew I had Aspergers instead of being labelled dumb, lazy, angry, too shy, socially anxious, bi-polar, borderline? What if I had had learning support? What if? What if? What if? I could have…got through school, university, my courses, med school…..? Maybe my marriage would have…. Maybe I could of had a career in…? Maybe, maybe, maybe.
“Before, I was a little scared that you would say I don’t have it, and I will fall apart again wondering why I am the way I am. And feel a bit silly telling the few people I have mentioned my Self Diagnosis too. Even though I have answered alot of questions, I find I have a lot of “what if’s?”
3. A reframing takes place, one in which the individual goes from present day backwards in time reframing her life experiences, events, relationships, in light of her new diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome or Autism. This reframing provides a catharsis, much understanding and mourning. It is then that the individual sees herself through the lens of Autism, presently and in the future.
To Be Continued…
Tania can be contacted for assessment, diagnosis, intervention and support, in addition to interviews and articles regarding her books. Contact her at email@example.com
Tania currently spends her professional time divided between private practice, research, and writing and looks forward to releasing the next installment in her AspienGirl™ book series, available at http://www.aspiengirl.com