Professional FAQ Series: High Sensitivity, Female Aspergers, Referred Emotion and the Superpower 6th Sense gift
My writings are based on my clinical work with now over 1,000 individuals of all ages, all diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (and some with co-existing conditions). I work full-time with individuals of all ages with Asperger Syndrome or Autism. I have supported hundreds of females with diagnoses of Asperger Syndrome. I also blog, write article and am now writing a book series. I am also in my Doctoral Studies program, specializing in female Asperger Syndrome.
FAQ: My daughter was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome three years ago. Since very early on in her life, she has regularly told me things she couldn’t possibly know. She seems to just “know” things all the time. It’s spooky and I worry about her.
FAQ: I am a self-diagnosed Aspie and have known for a long time that I cannot cope being around people. I just get so emotional and at times, even break down crying. I broke down walking past an obese man the other day. I don’t know what it wrong with me.
FAQ: I am a diagnosed Aspie who has been told I “care too much” about the world. I can’t even watch the news anymore, without going into a meltdown over the latest war, injustice, or crime. How is it that others just don’t seem to care or that it doesn’t affect them like it does me?
I have interviewed hundreds of girls, teens and women with Asperger Syndrome who have talked to me about high sensitivity, referred emotion, a “sixth” sense, knowing things without knowing how they know them, “feeling” presences, knowing when people are lying (through their feelings), and much more. It appears that females with Asperger Syndrome have a unique way, or “channel”, of accessing information about others or about events, or another way of “reading” people. Many females I have seen have expressed difficulties reading people in the usual way, that is through reading others non-verbal communication (facial expressions, hand and body movements). However, all have discussed their unique abilities to accurately sense what they cannot easily explain.
When should you consider that you may have Superpower 6th Sense?
In interviews I have listened to females, who are extraordinarily sensitive to the pain and feelings of others, so much so, that they are unable to watch the news, read the paper, listen to the radio or watch horror or violent movies. They have discussed being able to feel other people’s feelings and being able to tell or feel when people are lying to them, even though they were given no indication through body language evidence, but had later on found out through physical evidence. They have described their sensitivity as akin to a “fragile flower with a gentle breeze blowing them right over”. They describe being in continual emotional pain in the presence of other people. Many females have discussed “feeling” the emotional atmosphere of the room, “feeling” someone’s anger (although the person said they were not angry, did not look angry, but were actually angry on the inside) or “feeling” someone’s sadness as they passed by the person on the street. They have also discussed experiencing referred emotion or others thoughts (picking up stuff from other people or being “invaded” by other people’s thought’s). Many of the females I have worked with have told me they have been told by others that they “care too much”, are “”too sensitive””, are “highly sensitive”, and/or “need to stop caring” or “harden up”.
Some females have discussed knowing about future events happening before they happened, experiencing “precognitive dreams”, experiencing extrasensory perceptions and describing their experiences as seeing pictures in their head of what they are supposed to know (a “knowing” of a future event, the location of an item or a person, where a person is).
Many females have discussed realizing that they need to limit the time that they spend around people or avoid social situations because they are overwhelmed by others moods, feelings, emotions and/or the emotional atmosphere or because they simply just “know” too much about the people they are around, even though these people are strangers to them. Some of them have discussed how they have immensely benefited from a medication to “take the edge” off their emotional sensitivities, learned how to harnass and utilize their extra-sensory abilities (including learning to differentiate between the emotions of themselves and those of others, how to shield and protect themselves, among other techniques), and what to do when they pick-up on or feel the pain of people or animals in their environment. There exists females with Asperger Syndrome who are professional psychics and/or mediums.
The Superpower of referred emotion, ESP, the “6th Sense” is a gift. In my experience, females with Aspergers tend to have this gift to a greater degree than others. This is not to say that males with Aspergers or people without Aspergers do not also have this gift. However, my research is on females with Asperger and so I write with this focus in mind.
Females with Aspergers are often much more aware of the emotional atmosphere that others miss. Many clients have discussed with me about their experiences in group, family, or conference settings, where they can “see” right through a person (their intuition tells them to be careful) whilst everyone else appears to really like them. Neurotypicals pay much more attention to other people’s words, non-verbal body language, actions, facial expressions, whereas Aspiens use a different sensing channel that tells them important information about a person. Learning to trust the “gut”, “ïnstinct”, “ïntuition”, “6th sense”, is crucial to overcoming naivety that tends to comes with being an Aspien, so that the individual is not taken advantage of.
1. Knowledge and awareness. Believe your traits are real. Learn all you can about highly sensitive people, “empaths” and/or “ïntuitives”. Accept that you have this gift.
2. Learn about emotions. What are your emotions? What are degrees of delight and distress? What are other people’s emotions? How do you know what emotions are yours and what emotions belong to others?
3. Journal regularly. This will enable you to get to know yourself and provide a greater knowledge of what is yours and what is NOT your “stuff”
4. Learn to self-regulate your emotions
5. Learn shielding techniques, so that you do not ‘soak up’ others pain and emotions like a sponge.
6. Learn to separate your pain and emotions from those of other people, animals, nature.
7. Learn to trust and listen to your feelings, your vibes, your intuition. They are your guide in life.
8. Learn to embrace this gift, utilize it and trust it.
9. Take solitude (meditation, alone time)
10. Get enough rest and/or sleep.
11. Take one day off per week
12. Cut down on the stimulation (TV, radio, newspapers, advertisements)
13. Learn to say Say NO
14. Be preventative. Take breaks often. Eat before you are hungry and drink before you are thirsty.
15. Learn about your gifts, strengths, assets and utilize them.
16. Reframe your life based on your high sensitivity, your Aspergers, your whatever. This will take time for you to do.
17. Work on healing your childhood, your upbringing, your sensitivities.
18. Meet and be friends with other highly sensitive people.
19. Embrace your spirituality, whatever that is.
20. Use your sense of justice in a healthy and empowering way.
1. Aron, Elaine. The Highly Sensitive Person, http://www.hsperson.com/
2. Bogdashina, Olga, Autism and the Edges of the Known World
Sensitivities, Language and Constructed Reality. (2010). Jessica Kingsley Publishers
CAVEAT: Generally speaking, my doctoral research is in the area of females. Having said that, males do experience these issues. However, I am writing about my specialization.
Tania Marshall©. 2013. Professional Q and A Series I. All rights reserved. Duplication in whole or part is explicitly forbidden. Thank you.